No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We need to get me chipped asap
Damn victory sex feels great
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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