i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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