he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize