no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
