Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
