ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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