I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
