youre lurking in front of me
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
