you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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