Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
