do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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