At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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