def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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