Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
