what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
