I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
