He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You may now shotgun with the bride
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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