thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
