It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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