Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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