So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
