11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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