I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
