so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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