and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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