Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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