Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
