some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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