hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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