I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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