did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
