He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
