the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
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