Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
The Olympian is in my bed
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
