Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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