It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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