My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
