So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
