I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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