He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
