Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
