Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
