I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
