i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
