Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
