Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I had to cum in my sink.
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