Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
