Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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