It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
