Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
