That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
