porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
