My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
