he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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