Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
