He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
